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In the course of their marriages, couples often experience periods of disconnection. This can stem from various factors such as demanding work schedules, heightened family obligations, a flurry of extracurricular commitments, or clashes in scheduling. Yet, irrespective of the root cause, the more occupied a husband and wife become, the more their bond weakens. Consequently, their intimacy inevitably suffers.


At Dream City Church, we know that during moments of vulnerability or marital strain, it becomes crucial to fiercely defend your marriage and intensify your commitment. It’s precisely during these challenging times that spouses may feel inclined to seek solace elsewhere, even in subtle ways. Without proactive intervention, many marriages risk descending into a hollow semblance of their former selves, failing to provide a nurturing environment for both spouses and children alike. 


Don’t let the “foxes” ruin your vineyards. “Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom.” Song of Solomon 2:15 (NIV). Strive diligently to seek and uphold intimacy within your marriage.

What is Intimacy?


  • Recreational Intimacy: Recreational intimacy involves carving out dedicated time to engage in shared activities as a couple. While it may seem challenging amidst busy schedules and family commitments, prioritizing moments of leisure together is essential for nurturing the bond between partners. Revisiting old hobbies or discovering new ones allows couples to rediscover the joy of spending quality time together, fostering a deeper sense of connection and camaraderie in their relationship.


  • Intellectual Intimacy: Intellectual intimacy deepens as couples exchange thoughts, ideas, and perspectives on various topics that impact their lives. By actively listening to each other and expressing genuine interest in their partner’s thoughts and opinions, couples cultivate a deeper understanding of each other’s inner world. Consistent engagement in meaningful conversations fosters intellectual connection, enriching the fabric of their relationship and strengthening their emotional bond.


  • Financial Intimacy: Money-related issues are often cited as significant stressors in marriages, highlighting the importance of financial intimacy. Openness and transparency about financial matters lay the groundwork for trust and collaboration in managing shared resources. By creating a joint financial plan and addressing any financial challenges together, couples build resilience in the face of economic pressures, fostering a sense of unity and shared responsibility in their financial decisions.


  • Emotional Intimacy: Emotional intimacy thrives on the open expression and sharing of emotions between partners. While similar to intellectual intimacy, emotional intimacy delves deeper into feelings and experiences, requiring vulnerability and empathy from both spouses. By creating a safe and non-judgmental space for emotional expression, couples strengthen their emotional connection, deepening their understanding and support for each other.


  • Physical Intimacy: Physical intimacy encompasses both nonsexual and sexual forms of physical affection, playing a crucial role in expressing love and affection between partners. Effective communication about physical intimacy needs and desires fosters mutual understanding and satisfaction, enhancing the overall intimacy and connection in the relationship. By prioritizing physical affection and intimacy, couples nurture a sense of closeness and intimacy that strengthens their bond and fosters marital satisfaction. While emotional intimacy may be a profound need for women in a marriage, sexual intimacy holds similar significance for men. 


“Love, distinct from ‘being in love,’ is not merely a feeling. It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit; reinforced by the grace which both partners ask and receive from God.”


–C.S. Lewis

Seeking Support in Your Marital Journey

As you dedicate yourself to exploring the different facets of your relationship and seek to deepen your intimacy, extending grace to one another is crucial as you grow in these areas.  Remember that this journey we embark on with our spouses is like a marathon, not a sprint. None of us will navigate this perfectly, but by joining our efforts and striving for the unity of our marital union through enhancing every aspect of intimacy, we can experience the fulfilling and complete marriage that God intended for us.


To learn more about Christian marriage or seek assistance with your marital journey, consider joining our marriage ministry at Dream City Church. Visit our website or contact us today for more information.


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